How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
