I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
