If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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