My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
