I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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