I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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