The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
