Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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