thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
