So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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