I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
