OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
