Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
