my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
