Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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