Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize