smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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