Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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