just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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