She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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