It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
