I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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