Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the condom got lost in my hair
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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