I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
