i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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