only if we run a train.
done.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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