So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
