normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
