so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
