you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
