I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize