I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It was confusing and full of hummus
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
