Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
