If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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