Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
