i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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