French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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