As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
