but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
