so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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