when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
