I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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