Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
