now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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