Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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