he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
