Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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