i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize