But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
