I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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