you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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