Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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