I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
