just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
