grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
