I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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