Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
