You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
