do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
