I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
