Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
