I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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