Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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