how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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