I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
