She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
