i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
