Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
