I need help removing her.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm passing your future prison.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
