We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
